How to be a Runescape Player

How to make lots of money in Runescape to impress girls in real life!

2009-05-14T13:22:00.001-07:00

One of the main things Runescape players lack in the dating world is Runescape gp! Through my independent research, I have observed that many women will only date a man if he is financially well off in Runescape! Well, I am here to help you guys out and become Runescape millionaires in no time!

Money making for noobs:

One of the biggest challenges a noob faces in Runescape is making money, well don't worry I am here to help! To make money in Runescape you must do one of four things: train a skill, merchant, PVP, or bot.

I will only be discussing the first three since using bots and other autoer programs is illegal and against Jagex rules!! At How to be a Runescape Player, we want all of our students to be upmost citizens both in Runescape and in Real Life! Using a bot is equivalent to murder! So no Runescape bots or Runescape autoers for you little noob. :)

To train skills, I recommend checking out some Runescape skill guides. Google them, don't be helpless.

Merchanting -

To merchant in Runescape I recommend buying raw chickens from fellow noobs and selling them for a profit. Raw chickens are a very valuable commodity in Runescape and will help you rake in the GP!

Once you have made a small amount (usually a million or two) I recommend merchanting party hats (phats). I dunno how you will get ahold of one, just beg or something.

PVP -

Go to the Wilderness Bounty Hunter worlds and kick ass!!

Good luck making lots of Runescape money! You will be a Runescape millionaire in no time! LOL

How to be a Runescape Player is Now Dofollow

2009-05-14T13:20:00.000-07:00

I am sick and tired of all the NoFollow blogs tryin' to bring up and coming Runescape Players down, so I have made all comment pages on this blog into DoFollow! So don't hesitate to comment anymore, as Google will follow your link! :)

Pictures of Runescape Players

2009-05-13T18:10:00.001-07:00

Feel free to get some fashion tips from these Runescape Players!!!

The Ghostbusters shirt compliments the glasses quite nicely!

An hXc Runescape player sitting at home, but wait! Is that a cigarette I see in his hand? Smoking is so not Runescape, so remember kids don't smoke. And if you're going to smoke, then smoke a cigarillo.

These three know how it's done! Looks like we've got a ranger in the middle. ;)

Techno Remix of Nightfall

2009-05-13T11:54:00.001-07:00

Techno Remix of Nightfall

I've laid down another kickass track guys! You will be the coolest Runescape players in school!

This one is Nightfall, the song outside of Falador's Southern Gate!

Techno Remix of Adventure

2009-05-13T11:20:00.000-07:00

I realize that it's hard to cruise around town playing MIDI files, so I made a techno mix of Adventure!! You can thank me later when all the ladies are crawlin over you!!!

Techno Adventure Remix

DISCLAIMER: Original "Adventure" song is by Jagex!!

How to pick up chicks: As a Runescape Player!

2009-05-12T22:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, so now you've got the smooth moves and the awesome threads. "What do I do next, Mr. Runescape Player?" you ask. Well I'll tell you!

Now I am going to teach you to pick up a gf irl (girlfriend in real life) using skills you have learned in Runescape! I know Jagex says that you are not allowed to solicit relationships, and I try to follow all of Jagex's rules in and OUT of the game, but this is one exception. It is ok to have a girlfriend in real life... even better if she plays Runescape!

Alright, first things first. You need to learn how to talk to the girl. I recommend going up to her and engaging in small talk! Some topics I like to use include...

Excuse me madam, could you advise me on what to merchant?
Nice equipment!
Have you read the new Runescape update?
What do you think of Andrew Gower stepping down as CEO of Jagex Ltd.?

These are just a few examples, feel free to improvise. EXPERIMENT TO FIND WHAT WORKS.
Asking about Runescape updates is almost certain to get a positive response, however, as most girls are avid followers of Runescape news! :)

Ok, so now that you're engaged in conversation, whats next? ASK HER OUT. Take her on a quest in RL. I recommend a romantic trip to the local park. Here you can show off all the skills you have learned!! Trap a squirrel, build a fire, and cook it in front of her! She will be impressed by fronteirsmanship. :) Then you two can go harpooning by the stream! Catch her a lobster, but make sure not to burn it!! I recommend wearing a pare of gloves! :-D

Ok, now she should be pretty attracted to you, so it is time to sweeten the deal. Depending on what type of girl she is, you can show off your indie/scene cred. Make a Runescape mixtape! A great site with lots of solid Runescape midi tunes is RuneTower!

CAUTION: The site is a bit ghetto, so this is how to extract music. In Firefox: click the name of a song, right click in the popup window, and go to "View Page Info." Click the Media tab and download the embedded midi file.

For your Runescape mixtape, I recommend such classic hits as Flute Salad, Barbarianism, and Greatness. All songs she's sure to recognize!!!!!

That's about it for now, so go out and get a girl!!!

Anatomy of a Runescape Player

2009-05-12T19:31:00.000-07:00

So you want to be a true Runescape player???!! Well you'll have to dress the part.

Buy some shitty, poorly fitting jeans. Wranglers from Walmart will work well!
Shoes. I cannot stress the importance of shoes. You've heard of Converse All-Stars right? Those are what all the cool hipsters are wearing?! Well to be a true Runescape player you must go about it completely wrong and buy some Converse "One-Stars" from Target. You will be the coolest kid in school!!!!
For your shirts, there is only one place to shop. The Jagex store!!!!!!!! The Jagex store has everything you could ask for... AND MORE!!! They have hoodies, t-shirts, and my personal favorite, the book Betrayal at Falador!!!!
Get some ugly glasses.

Good luck kids, hope you become Runescape players over night!!!

How to do the Snowman Emote in Real Life

2009-05-10T14:20:00.000-07:00

Make sure to watch in high quality!!!!!!!!!!!

How to be a Runescape Player: An Introduction

2009-05-10T12:09:00.000-07:00

There are many types of people in this world; bros, emos, indies, nerds, goths, gays, jocks, and most importantly... RUNESCAPE PLAYERS!!11!!!

I, the men with no name, am here to teach you how to become one of these specimens.

:-)