Tuesday, May 12, 2009

How to pick up chicks: As a Runescape Player!

Ok, so now you've got the smooth moves and the awesome threads. "What do I do next, Mr. Runescape Player?" you ask. Well I'll tell you!

Now I am going to teach you to pick up a gf irl (girlfriend in real life) using skills you have learned in Runescape! I know Jagex says that you are not allowed to solicit relationships, and I try to follow all of Jagex's rules in and OUT of the game, but this is one exception. It is ok to have a girlfriend in real life... even better if she plays Runescape!

Alright, first things first. You need to learn how to talk to the girl. I recommend going up to her and engaging in small talk! Some topics I like to use include...

  • Excuse me madam, could you advise me on what to merchant?
  • Nice equipment!
  • Have you read the new Runescape update?
  • What do you think of Andrew Gower stepping down as CEO of Jagex Ltd.?
These are just a few examples, feel free to improvise. EXPERIMENT TO FIND WHAT WORKS.
Asking about Runescape updates is almost certain to get a positive response, however, as most girls are avid followers of Runescape news! :)

Ok, so now that you're engaged in conversation, whats next? ASK HER OUT. Take her on a quest in RL. I recommend a romantic trip to the local park. Here you can show off all the skills you have learned!! Trap a squirrel, build a fire, and cook it in front of her! She will be impressed by fronteirsmanship. :) Then you two can go harpooning by the stream! Catch her a lobster, but make sure not to burn it!! I recommend wearing a pare of gloves! :-D

Ok, now she should be pretty attracted to you, so it is time to sweeten the deal. Depending on what type of girl she is, you can show off your indie/scene cred. Make a Runescape mixtape! A great site with lots of solid Runescape midi tunes is RuneTower!

CAUTION: The site is a bit ghetto, so this is how to extract music. In Firefox: click the name of a song, right click in the popup window, and go to "View Page Info." Click the Media tab and download the embedded midi file.

For your Runescape mixtape, I recommend such classic hits as Flute Salad, Barbarianism, and Greatness. All songs she's sure to recognize!!!!!

That's about it for now, so go out and get a girl!!!

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